Holla from Hala Kahiki

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Aloha bitches! Is anyone traveling this year? No? Good; keep your bitch ass at home because we still are fighting a pandemic. Since this boy does miss traveling, I have to get my kicks from Saturday drives in the “country” around Chicagoland. One place I will CONSTANTLY go to and love EVERY. DAMN. MINUTE I’m there is Hala Kahiki in River Grove, Illinois. It’s more than an old-school tiki bar; it’s an institution and my happy place. Legit, I would move to River Grove JUST to go here every day. This place warms my occasionally frosty heart. So we went with the gay boys, featuring Katherine the other day, to this happy place. Once again, this place is MAGIC. The drinks will knock you off your feet, the atmosphere is amazing, and the place just oozes mellow vibes. So come along with us to Hala Kahiki, and if you’re in the Chicagoland area and never been. GET. YO. ASS. THERE. ASAP!!!

We cute AF. Strong drinks and strong rainbow vibes

Just look at this place! It is pure MAGIC! It’s one of the oldest tiki bars in Chicagoland; it’s been charming Chicagoans since 1963. What’s even more amazing? They have a gift shop! I have the most random assortment of Hawaiian goods because I went there under the influence of alcohol…..don’t judge me.

If I ever buy a house with a finished basement, I legit want it to look like this. Low lights, bamboo, and kitsch shit is my jam.

Out of all the places that closed temporarily due to the pandemic, Hala Kahiki was one place I was scared would shutter for good, but thankfully, it’s reopened and delighting boozy bitches. Again, if you haven’t been, please go! Places like this are institutions that deserve your patronage. It’s no coincidence why it’s been around for over 50 years.

So if you find yourself in River Grove, possibly after getting hot dogs at Gene and Jude’s, stop on by Hala Kahiki and get a drink or two (or four). Don’t listen to your liver; it’s fine 😉

Cheers bitches!

-Anthony & Jared

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